8 Ways to Make Fear Fuck Off
Well, well, well, it appears I’m back on the blog train. I’m trying to make this as easy as possible for me since it’s obviously a rusty habit that I haven’t really tamed.
For those who are unaware, I coach fastpitch softball pitchers and originally began a podcast for THEM, but it turns out teenage girls don’t listen to pods, and also I don’t need to niche it down quite that hardcore. It’s called The Krunch Factor, and, though some lessons are pretty much 100% softball, the majority are applicable to all of us human beans (intended). You can find The Krunch Factor on iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, and Spotify! PLEASE subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and share a comment! Then, share it with yo franz, pls.
The podcast is E for Everyone (at least for now), so I’m allowing my blog platform to be my outlet and just ka-FUCKING-bloom with swears.
This post is based off of episode 20, and I’m retitling the blog, “9 Ways to Make Fear Fuck Off.” I’m kind of playing off of Danielle LaPorte (if you don’t know her, she’s a fucking goddess guru of facing your fears, speaking your truth, and achieving your desires)’s quote, “Tell fear to fuck the fuck right off.”
How many times have you thought, in retrospect, “WHY DIDN’T I DO X (X = THAT AWESOME THING)?”
How many times do you catch yourself daily thinking, “I would, but…”
What would you DO if you did the uncomfortable? If you were vulnerable? If you FACED your FEARS?
I find too often that I’m holding myself back or procrastinatingAF when it’s something I know I really want to accomplish/experience, but it feels… scawy. Even typing this, it seems like such a bullshit excuse, but YOU KNOW IT’S TRUE. So, without further ado, here’s 9 Ways to Make Fear Fuck Off:
PRACTICE THE THING. Obviously, this was easy to relate to my pitchers. But maybe you want a raise at work. Or you have a trip coming up to somewhere you’ve never been. Perhaps you’re trying a new way of eating, and you’re meeting your friends at a restaurant. Or you’re starting to write blogs but have no fucking clue what you’re doing… Well, pitch how you want to perform. Rehearse the raise conversation with a pal. Go somewhere unfamiliar locally to test your stress levels. Scan the menu ahead of time and plan. And just fucking hit publish already. What’s the worst that will happen? If nobody reads this, will someone steal my dogs? Will my best friend decide she never wants to speak to me again? We often tell ourselves these horrible horrible consequences of actions we haven’t taken (see: Brené Brown’s “the story I tell myself”), but how true are they really?
ASK WHY & GO DEEP (that’s what she said). Why are you afraid of the thing? Answer it, and answer it out loud. Is it a legitimate reason? Is it something completely made up and in no way based in fact? Is it one of those stories we make up? If you couldn’t tell, I’m scared of writing a blog and coming out as a wellness coach. I’ve had the passion and certifications for YEARS, but here I am today. Say why you’re scared, and say it out loud… for bonus points, TELL IT TO A FRIEND.
CONSULT THE A-TEAM. Now, don’t just go surveying Instagram or your significant other’s coworkers. Who do you know who loves you NO MATTER WHAT. Who has no benefit or negative outcome from your choice. Who will give it to you straight and tell you when you’re being cray or when it’s a good idea. For me, it’s my BFF Erica. She will absolutely tell me when to give up (at the Chinese food buffet). My husband Matt will definitely challenge me and ask the questions I don’t want to answer. My mom finally knows that after the multiple tattoos I’ve gotten that she can’t control me, so she basically gives me her best and most honest feedback. TALK TO THESE PEOPLE. THEY WON’T BETRAY YOU.
YOU CAN’T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS. In episode 19 of my podcast, I interviewed Tonya Dalton of Inkwell Press Co., and she had the most amazing quote, “You can’t have success without failure.” Most of us, when facing something we fear, are afraid of failure. Whether in the form of rejection, disappointment from others, or disappointment from ourselves. You can’t play it so safe that you never risk failing, because, honestly, what on earth could you possibly accomplish? Brené Brown also discusses how you can’t mute just one emotion— It’s easy to want to anesthetize sadness, but you’re also therefore muting joy. Look, we ALL fucking know. Life is hard. Many things are unfair. But don’t you fucking dare give away your power because of fear.
COMMUNITY. Maybe seems like a copout with Number 3, but don’t leave yet. It’s easy to think we’re alone and that we’re unique lil bby snowflakes, but there’s likely SOMEONE who has been in a similar position. There’s a Facebook group for everything, and Instagram has even been known to create real-life relationships, but, the point is, find someone you can TALK TO (phone call or face-to-face) who has experience here! Who can empathize. Now, I don’t mean your squad who loves to fester in negativity and complaining. I mean someone who can help you see the way out.
MANTRA THAT SHIT UP. I recently came up with a mantra for myself that has truly helped me move out of my own way. It goes like this, “If it [the scary thing] won’t kill me or permanently impair me, I HAVE TO DO IT.” Obviously, we’re not talking about stunts off the Grand Canyon or hard drugs. I’m talking like, sharing this blog. Having a tough conversation with someone you care about concerning your FEELINGS. Leaving a comfy job to pursue a passion. I always tell my pitchers that if nothing changes, nothing will change. Change is naturally uncomfortable, but if you want to improve, you HAVE to begin making adjustments and embracing the uncomfortable.
MEDITATE. DON’T YOU DARE BLOW THIS ONE OFF. Think about your stream of consciousness (if you can focus for that long). How much negative self-talk do you endure on the regular? How much stress is in your day-to-day life from the moment your alarm goes off until the moment you fall asleep? We leave in a CRAZY fucked-up world with way too many distractions and pulls and unnecessary stressors. Do you know what can help? YOU CAN. YOUR BRAIN IS YOUR FRIEND. Just TWO minutes of meditation DAILY are enough to begin rewiring the pathways in your brain. Now, don’t pop on a guided one. I want you to just sit and breathe. Be a thought-goalie- if your brain starts to wander in 2 minutes, acknowledge the thought, but then refocus back to your breathing. DO IT. IT’S FREE. IT’S QUICK. YOU DESERVE IT. And SUPER BONUS POINTS if you do it before you touch your phone/check notifications in the morning.
FEAR IS NORMAL. Guys, repeat after me. IT IS NORMAL TO HAVE FEAR. The unknown can be scary. Being vulnerable is SCARY. I’m going to call on my girl Brené Brown one more time (I recommend all of her books + her Netflix special). Think of anything courageous or brave you’ve ever accomplished. Name one act that did not involve vulnerability.
YOU CAN’T. I’M SERIOUS, PROVE ME WRONG, I’LL WAIT. Everything worth experiencing involves vulnerability and results in courage. Don’t waste this life living in a bubble building up your regret repertoire.
GO FORTH, WELL AS FUCK-ERS. DO THE SCARY THING, THEN REPORT BACK. Share with me on here or on Instagram. I am here to support you.